Book Notes: Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel, by E. James Wilder

There are many reasons to improve our awareness of God’s active presence in our lives. The best reason is the guidance and friendship we receive from “checking in” with God throughout the day.

“ME,” my identity, is ultimately shaped by who I love and what pain I avoid. Love and the pain I avoid often compete within me to see whether my love or my fear of pain is stronger.

Jesus diagnosed them with  sluggish vision (being  slow-of-heart) as they were focused mainly on the pain in their lives.

We are like these disciples. We are slow-of-heart and have impaired vision of Jesus walking with us. Since we are all slow-of-heart, God has provided the Holy Spirit to empower us to experience Immanuel, the God who walks with us.

three reasons why we might not be aware that God is speaking with us when thoughts go through our minds. First, our minds might not be in a  relational state, one that is receptive to interaction with God or people.

we are told in Ephesians 2:10 to expect a similarity between God-thoughts and our thoughts.

The structure in the brain called the cingulate cortex makes it possible for meaningful communication to occur between two different minds by establishing a mutual-mind state. When establishing a mutual-mind state, we learn to think and feel the way people we love think and feel.

Poetry in scripture does not rhyme sounds; it follows the Hebrew pattern and rhymes thoughts.

This means that as God’s poetry, our thoughts can rhyme with our Heavenly Father’s. That is amazing!

As our mutual-mind state becomes stronger, we are able to live out our purpose of being created for good works.

Good works flow from thinking like our Creator; we rhyme God’s actions and not just His thoughts.

Thoughts that rhyme with God’s produce  shalom. Shalom is a state of harmony where everything works together, makes sense and is good. Shalom is the “peace of Christ.”

The rule for our lives and relationships is that everything should be in shalom when we are synchronized with how God thinks.

We will be in harmony with God and with everyone else who is making mind-poetry with God.

Colossians 3:1-17 is a clear picture of what our lives should reflect when we are living and growing in a mutual-mind state with God.

our Poet’s and we lose  shalom. When this happens, we should hear the referee’s whistle blowing in our conscience reminding us that we are out of God’s shalom.

Healing is not the absence of pain; rather it is a sound relationship with God and His people.

We have noticed that even a one-time encounter with Jesus through Immanuel journaling can change someone’s life.

iSight is having the recognition and awareness that God is good and that He is more than able and willing to help us.

healing is not the absence of pain; rather, it is the presence of God and His continuing involvement in our lives.

When I was chasing healing, I found myself overwhelmed and discouraged; but when I began interacting with God through Immanuel journaling and with a trusted community of brothers and sisters, I began to live in the moment with God rather than waiting for healing to happen so I could begin my renewed life.

Jim shared that as a young man he was struck by three truths in the Bible he has tried to live by ever since: Talk to God about everything Do nothing out of fear Love others deeply

These truths struck a chord with all of us. If we practiced these three things, our lives would bear the fruit of the Spirit as a powerful witness to the world.

we have seen the Father use this tool to help people live knowing that we are in Christ and Christ is in us—consciously growing in the awareness of God’s presence. This gives us the capacity

to love others because we know His love is continuously available.

We can then take the energy we spent worrying and direct it to loving God, loving people and helping them know God.

In story after story from the Bible, God reminds the patriarchs, prophets and people that He Himself would be with them and guide them.

God is always glad to be with us. He treats our weaknesses tenderly. He actively works for our good. In other words, God is benevolently present with us.

No matter what condition we are in, God welcomes our weaknesses tenderly showing us that He is always at work bringing goodness.

iSight is having the recognition that God is present, is truly good and perseveres in doing good for us.

The abundant, thriving life with God is fully experienced when we have true iSight.

Jesus spent three years of His life with His disciples. They saw many miracles and felt His unconditional love for them and even saw Him after His resurrection. Yet, it wasn’t until Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came upon them that they felt confident in their risen Lord. This Spirit of Comfort (our Advocate who points us to Jesus) is here and for us, always strengthening the believers’ iSight.

there is a region in our prefrontal cortex in charge of how we conduct ourselves that is nourished and developed best in this environment of loving relationships.

Through these connections we actually become our true selves as God originally intended.

We are able to have meaningful relationships and develop our brains and minds for success and abundance through loving connections.

Note:We don’t achieve breakthroughs and abundance on our own. It is through our loving connections. That’s big.

Two of the elements in this weak connection are 1) the lack of frequency in their interactions and 2) the negative quality of those interactions.

God designed us to thrive by being in constant, loving interactions with Him and others.

The greatest commandment is to love God and others as ourselves.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 15:5-8

Gratitude: a password to Immanuel

The six big unpleasant emotions hard-wired into the brain are sadness, anger, fear, shame, hopeless despair and disgust. Feeling gratitude returns our minds to relationship with God in the presence of these unpleasant feelings and other forms of suffering.

perceiving His presence can be very difficult when we are flooded with painful emotions.

gratitude enhances the well-being of our body, soul and relationships. The Bible urges us to live in a state of gratitude.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” All means all. In every circumstance we are told to give thanks. When we give thanks, gratitude becomes the vehicle through which we become aware of the presence of Immanuel, the God who is always with us. Gratitude in the middle of difficulties allows us to have iSight.

“Nothing shows weakness as clearly as weak memories of God’s presence combined with strong memories of trauma”

There are two parts in interactive gratitude. First, we give thanks to God; second, we slow down to perceive how God responds to our gratitude.

The response back from God is the essential part of interactive gratitude.

two elements are needed in order to grow a bond between two persons: one is an increasing quality of the interactions and the other is an increasing frequency of these exchanges.

We tell Him our thoughts but we don’t listen for His response and miss the blessed opportunity for intimacy with Him. Intimacy with God is why it is so important for us to learn to listen for God’s response.

It’s hard to sit still when we are distracted or in pain. We are numb or we don’t really want to hear because we are afraid of what we might hear.

Talking without listening is an anxiety-ridden expression that can bring us some momentary relief but no shalom.

Interacting with Jesus by giving thanks helps me start the day in a relational state of mind that connects me personally with the Creator of the universe. It begins my day with a friend who understands me, shares my mind and knows the things that make me grateful.

Writing down our impressions of God’s response The first step in interactive gratitude is voicing our appreciation to God. The next step involves writing down our impression of what God is thinking and saying to us.

We may find writing God’s response is difficult if we think we are putting words in God’s mouth. We know we are capable of misunderstanding what God might be saying to us, yet the greater danger arises from never attempting or desiring to understand what God might be saying to us to guide us. When we are thought rhyming with God we have the guardrails of God’s character to keep our hearing on the right road. God’s character is revealed by the person of Christ (the living word of God), the scriptures, the counsel of fellow believers, the presence of shalom and the fruit we bear. One thing we would like to clarify is that when we write our impressions, we are not hearing and transcribing God’s actual voice. In general, we enter a time of “thought rhyming/poetry” by creating a mutual-mind state with God. A mutual-mind state will shape our mind to see as God sees, but it can also reveal when our distorted poetry does not rhyme with God. We definitely do not want to limit the way God speaks to us, but for most of us (and most of the time) God’s thoughts will arrive as an impression about His response to us.

7). If our impression of God’s response to us is in alignment with God’s character, it suggests that the source of our written impression is God. The peace and hope that come from this interaction are likely from God as well.

Let’s have the freedom to admit that we can be wrong in our impressions of God, just as we can be wrong about our impressions of what our spouse or family members might be communicating to us. This fallibility does not stop us from seeking to understand what our loved ones are saying.

If our relationship with our heavenly Father is a living one, we can speculate that we misunderstand Him part of the time, yet it should not stop us from continuing to have interactions with Him. What if we were to stop interacting or responding to our spouses for fear that we would not fully understand one another? Relationships are fluid, and we do not need to fear because God is good, and He will lead us.

Our thoughts and His thoughts will flow fluidly between us and we will begin to think and look like the One we love. We will begin to like what He likes, love like He loves and grieve with Him for the things He grieves. We will begin to reflect Him more and more. Our interactions will mirror our growing bond with God.

Steps to Interactive Gratitude

Usually we find that when we are able to admit we are stuck it relieves the pressure of producing results. God meets us where we are and helps us to get unstuck.

Once you have written down your thanksgiving, pause for a moment to reflect on what you wrote. Next, ask God what He would say to you. Begin writing, but don’t filter your thoughts at this time. Just start writing and allow the Spirit of God to lead you. Focus on putting down what you sense about His response to your gratitude.

Many of us have felt utter frustration with dropped calls during an important conversation. The culprit is usually a bad connection or no signal. In the same way, we sometimes find ourselves in a crisis with a pressing need to call God for His help yet unable to get through to Him.

We need to troubleshoot our “dropped calls.” There is often a source of interference, and Immanuel journaling can help us find the cause.

According to Wilder and colleagues, any life event that leads us to feeling alone without help can be experienced as traumatic.

experiences of pain need to go through a pain-processing pathway in our brains in order to fully metabolize and heal our wounds (Lehman, 2011).

Unresolved pain launches an automatic search for relief. Ed Khouri and colleagues explain what happens when we are unable to process distress and intense emotions then turn to temporary relief (Wilder, 2013). We seek behaviors, experiences, events, people and substances to numb our pain. Khouri explains how this practice usually becomes addictive.

When pain has been fully processed, the experience usually produces wisdom. What caused us pain was not always a good thing, but a full resolution brings good from everything. This is redemption. If we allow God to take us through a proper pain-processing sequence, we develop deeper compassion and empathy. Moreover, those who courageously allow this process to bear fruit ultimately find they love God and others more deeply.

In order to suffer well, we need maturity.

All Christians are called to develop maturity. One of the main characteristics of a mature person is the ability to handle difficult emotions.

Mature people are able to return to a state of calm from the six big emotions.

RCs are very much like our visual circuits. When we close our eyes, we cannot see anything. Or, think of RCs like a light switch. If we turn off the light switch in a room, we might not be able to see things as clearly as we did when the lights were on. When our RCs are “off,” it is difficult to relate to others, including God. The obvious first step for interacting with God is to make sure our RCs are on. Our RCs allow us to perceive God’s interest in us. When our RCs are “on,” our natural desire is to connect and interact with people and God because we naturally want to participate in giving and receiving life and love and we value our relationships, whether we are in joy or in pain.

Relational Circuits Checklist (Are our RCs on or off?) I just want to make a problem, person or feeling go away. I don’t want to listen to what others feel or say. My mind is “locked onto” something upsetting. I don’t want to be connected to _______. (Someone I usually like) I just want to get away, fight, or freeze. (versus Calm + Connect) I more aggressively interrogate, judge and fix others.

Our solution to solving problems with our RCs off is to do the right thing rather than restore relationships. Doing many right things with your RCs off can lead to doing very wrong things when it comes to restoring relationships in the Kingdom of God.

When my RCs were off, I was not able to perceive Jesus as helpful and thus stopped interacting with Him. Even then, I still thought that I was including God in all that I was doing. However, I was living without the recognition that God was there to help me.

Those interested in further exploration on restoring RCs can find help in Karl Lehman’s book, Outsmarting Yourself (Lehman, 2011).

However, Immanuel journaling expects that God not only listens to our prayers but also initiates conversations with us.

God knows when we are unable to come to Him either because we are overwhelmed by our pain or  because we are hiding from Him in fear. Just as He initiated the conversation with Adam and Eve when they were hiding, we believe

that God approaches us, thus initiating our restoration because God is love.

Therapists call the process of entering into a mutual-mind state with someone “attunement,” and the failure to reach synchronization is called “misattunement.” In his book, Outsmarting Yourself, Karl Lehman emphasizes how receiving attunement helps restore our RC function. He explains that we will feel seen, heard, understood and cared for when successful attunement (a mutual-mind state) takes place. We no longer feel alone.

Suppose we need to start our thought rhyming while we are feeling upset about something; we can use the following sequence. I can see you I can hear you I can understand how hard this is for you I am glad to be with you I can do something about what you are going through

The way we respond to the question, “How does God see me?” is key to determining if we will move toward or away from God.

You might judge and condemn your lack of trust in My goodness and love but I never condemn you. Rather, I am glad and thankful that you are here with Me.”

While reminding us who we are, God invites us to live according to our true heart. The promise of His constant presence, His unfailing love and His pure goodness will sustain us. Write your impression of what God is offering you.

He is always initiating the restoration of our relationships with Him and others.

When we use Immanuel journaling with God to restore our peace before we communicate with others, it can give us strength and wisdom.

Many misunderstandings can benefit from slowing down and talking to God about our own fears and triggers.

It is our responsibility and privilege to tell others about our gratitude for God’s power in our lives.

By listening without interrupting, we participate in God’s work by creating a sacred space for people to encounter themselves, their community and God.

The perfect three-way bond is in the Trinity. Each person in the Trinity makes room for the others. They stay connected in dynamic joy.

Interacting with God is the first half of transformation. Telling the Immanuel story is the other half.

You will recall that shalom is to be the referee in all we do (Colossians 3:15). Shalom is a sense we get when everything is in the right relationship, at the right time, in the right place, at the right strength and in the right amount for God and people.

Our spirit is made for truth, but our brain also seeks shalom. As long as things do not “fit,” our mind remains unstable and open to change. When everything makes sense, the right hemisphere closes the door to changing our mind because now we “know.” We look for shalom at the end of Immanuel journaling about painful topics.

However, when there is no shalom we can be sure we are wrong, that our processing is incomplete. We need to ask God why we do not have shalom and finish the journaling.

The basic purpose of Immanuel journaling focuses on developing a mind that mirrors how God thinks about the daily business of our lives

Pick up The Joyful Journey at Amazon.