Growth spaces, not safe spaces

This week I led my first writing group session for Write of Passage cohort six. 

We talked about mindset. I want to help these students set up a creative process that will serve them for decades. 

To do that, students must get comfortable with discomfort. Good writing is often emotionally uncomfortable. Receiving feedback can be uncomfortable. Pressing publish is definitely uncomfortable. 

So, I told my group that my sessions were not a safe space. 

Growth never feels safe

Every time in my life I have chosen safety—personally, professionally, and in my writing—I get a lesser outcome than I could have if I chose discomfort. 

Same thing is true in fitness. Improvement only comes with discomfort. 

So what I want is a “Growth Space,” where people will push themselves. 

Just like growing a plant, you need the right environment for people to grow. So my writing group has four rules:

1. 100% respect for each other. Our backgrounds, our perspectives, our effort, and our goals. Non-negotiable. 

2. Give balanced writing feedback. Emphasize the positive and the areas for improvement using the CRIBS framework:  

• Confusing 

• Repetitive 

• Insightful 

• Boring 

• Surprising

3. You are a thought leader. Everyone will learn more, connect with each other more deeply, and grow faster if you share your: Ideas Fears Analysis Setbacks Questions Everyone has value to share. Everyone is a thought leader.

4. Focus on process over outcomes. We are here to build a writing process, a habit, that will serve us for decades. Not to compare our writing, or the outcomes of any particular piece of writing, to anyone else. We are all on our own path, together.

Like so many things in society, we say things we know aren’t true because they feel good. “Safe spaces” are another product of this. We all deserve respect and an environment to facilitate growth. We all need to understand that growth only comes by pushing through our own discomfort.

Growth spaces, not safe spaces.