Book review: Artemis, by Andy Weir
Artemis, by Andy Weir
Andy Weir has a pretty reliable book formula: use science to both complicate, and then resolve, problems for the protagonists in his books. Sprinkle in some humor for warmth, and voila. A best seller. Even a movie or two.
“The Martian” and “Project Hail Mary” are two of my favorite sci-fi reads ever.
But in “Artemis,” Weir’s tried-and-true formula misses the mark.
The concept for Artemis is interesting enough: a crime caper on a moon settlement, complete with mobsters, government corruption, and corporate misbehaviors. But the main character, a young porter and smuggler named Jasmine "Jazz" Bashara, seems awfully adept at metallurgy, space welding, and advanced off-planet ventilation concepts for someone who works as a porter and smuggler.
On the moon, Weir’s jokes don’t land as smoothly as the Apollo 11 once did. And Weir’s characteristic scientific rigor is here, as always. But there’s too much exposition this time. I’m just not that interested in how various gases behave, or the industrial process behind melting metal.
Artemis isn’t awful. It just isn’t as compelling and funny as what I’ve come to expect from Weir. The story languishes as scientific explanations drag on, and while Jazz has some good moments firing off smart one-liners, she’s just too overpowered to be believable.
Artemis Kindle highlights
Writing I highlighted because I laughed, learned something, gleaned an insight, or just nerded out on because it was well done.
If my neighborhood were wine, connoisseurs would describe it as “shitty, with overtones of failure and poor life decisions.”
There’s nothing more annoying than trust-fund boys looking for “moon poon.”
Earth’s air is 20 percent oxygen. The rest is stuff human bodies don’t need like nitrogen and argon. So Artemis’s air is pure oxygen at 20 percent Earth’s air pressure. That gives us the right amount of oxygen while minimizing pressure on the hulls. It’s not a new concept—it goes back to the Apollo days.
Thing is, the lower the pressure, the lower the boiling point of water. Water boils at 61 degrees Celsius here, so that’s as hot as tea or coffee can be. Apparently it’s disgustingly cold to people who aren’t used to it.
Most people don’t know it, but there’s a ridiculous amount of oxygen on the moon. You just need a shitload of energy to get it.
You can’t gestate a baby in lunar gravity—it leads to birth defects. And you can’t raise a baby here, anyway. It’s terrible for bone and muscle development.
People will trust a reliable criminal more readily than a shady businessman.
Travel’s a bitch. Even when it’s a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. You leak money like a sieve. You’re jet-lagged. You’re exhausted all the time. You’re homesick even though you’re on vacation.
I stood from the bar and downed my Bowmore. I assume everyone in Scotland gasped in psychic pain.
Yes, she was sixteen and Hartnell’s was a bar, but there’s no drinking age in Artemis. It’s another one of those vague rules that’s enforced with punching.
“On a scale from one to ‘invade Russia in winter,’ how stupid is this plan?”
A smelter I poured my life and soul into, which you just destroyed, you reckless puddle of exudate!” “Don’t think I won’t look that up!”
The pressure in the airlock decreased, so my ball grew like a balloon in a vacuum chamber. That’s not an analogy. It was literally a balloon in a vacuum chamber.
He took both my hands. “Jasmine. I accept your recompense, even though I know the source is dishonest. And I forgive you.” I gave him a firm handshake and we called it a day. Not really. I collapsed into his arms and cried like a child. I don’t want to talk about it.
“It’s all part of the life-cycle of an economy. First it’s lawless capitalism until that starts to impede growth. Next comes regulation, law enforcement, and taxes. After that: public benefits and entitlements. Then, finally, overexpenditure and collapse.”
An economy is a living thing. It’s born full of vitality and dies once it’s rigid and worn out. Then, through necessity, people break into smaller economic groups and the cycle begins anew, but with more economies. Baby economies, like Artemis is right now.”